Wish I could do that
by Rik Sweeney (471717)

Judge: Why didn't you attend your DUI?
Me: Oh, I cancelled it, didn't you get the email?
Judge: I didn't get a chance to check my email this morning, when can you attend another hearing?
Me: I don't have time I'm afraid, it's all explained in the email though
Judge: OK then, drive safe now!
Me: Thanks!

Yesterday
by Rik Sweeney (471717)

Yesterday's false start and the Firefox team's request to calm down reminds me of the Stoning scene from Life of Brian. I'm sure someone can paraphrase this to relate it with downloading:

Jewish Official: I'm warning you. If you say 'Jehovah' once more--
[Mrs. A. throws a rock at the Jewish Official]
Jewish Official: Right. Who threw that? Come on. Who threw that?
Crowd: She did! It was her! [suddenly speaking as men] He! He. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him.
Jewish Official: Was it you?
Mrs. A.: Yes.
Jewish Official: Right...
Mrs. A.: Well, you did say 'Jehovah.'

Stupid question of the day
by Rik Sweeney (471717)

"Ultimately, we are trying to avoid the day when the consuming public asks, 'Why would Hormel Foods name its product after junk e-mail?'"

These would be the same people that will ask why makers of glass-that-fits-into-buildings-to-allow-people-to- see-into-other-areas chose to name their product after Microsoft's Operating System?

Get a grip, Hormel.

Sounds great! Here's my solution though
by Rik Sweeney (471717)

If you see anyone acting suspiciously, security can walk up to them and ask

"terroristsayswhat?"

most of them will reply

"what?"

proving that they are a terrorist.

Bingo! A solution that's just as reliable as a lie detector test...