I hate uncertainty
by eln (21727)

which is why I make sure every cat I put in a box has been killed beforehand. Suck on that, Schrodinger.

Sweet!
by eln (21727)

Oh man, I hope my girlfriend gets on this! It will make it SO much easier to track her. I am so sick of hiding in the bushes across the street from her house for three hours just to find out she wasn't even home! And this is going to save me a fortune on text messages...I won't need to text her every 3 minutes asking where she is if I have Google Maps to tell me!

Seriously, this is going to revolutionize our relationship. I know we're going to be so happy with this new tracking technology! The restraining order says no, but your Google Maps icon says yes!

Re:Great, but ...
by eln (21727)

I, for one, am dismayed that they were so quick to shoot down my idea of commercial aircraft being launched to their destinations with enormous slingshots. It requires no fuel, and would look wicked cool. Where's my grant, huh? Why do these jokers who want to fly planes using used grease from a McDonald's fryer get all the money, and I don't get squat?

All I need is a big tree and a really big elastic band at every airport, and I could solve this problem tomorrow!

Re:Great, but ...
by gnick (1211984)

Agreed that your idea would look "wicked cool", however I see a couple of problems. In order to keep the acceleration low enough to avoid destroying the plane and killing the passengers during take-off, the band will have to be fairly soft and very long. Although if we can stretch it constantly over the entire length of a sharply inclined runway, that may be enough.

Doctors have reported the first case of someone using the internet while asleep, when a sleeping woman sent emails to people asking them over for drinks and caviar.

Yah right
by eln (21727)

Look lady, I show up to your house with wine and caviar and you make up some lame excuse about "sleep emailing". If you didn't want the second date, you should have just said so! I'm a Slashdotter, I'm used to rejection, there's no need to lead me on and come up with lame excuses at the last minute.

Re:Drat you Steve!
by eln (21727)

I do mac repair work

Stop spreading lies. Everyone knows that Apple products do not break down. Any issues you may be experiencing with your Apple product are merely a result of insufficient faith.

Re:Age of Consent
by eln (21727)

You sick son of a bitch. How could you take advantage of a young, vulnerable operating system like that? An operating system less than 18 years of age is incapable of informed consent, and should not be "used", as you put it.

I'll be calling the Feds on you, and God help you if they find any screenshots of Linux on your computer.

Re:Information
by eln (21727)

It's very similar to the DNS issue from a couple of months back: It's a hugely scary thing that will doom the Internet, but because we're responsible we can't tell you what it is in any detail. However, if you don't patch your browser immediately (patch not yet available), you are fucked.

Have a nice day.

Re:Yeah?
by eln (21727)

I have an unhackable computer. I would give you the IP, but it's not hooked up to the Internet. Or any other network. Also, it's powered off and buried 300 feet underground in a 6 foot thick lead-lined vault. On Pluto.

"Extreme Density" computing can be hazardous
by eln (21727)

I can't mention who I work for for obvious reasons, but we did some experimenting with "extreme density" computing some time ago as part of a black ops project for the government. We achieved densities previously unheard of by man.

Unfortunately, we got greedy. We increased the density so far that the entire facility ended up collapsing into a black hole, wiping out much of the state of North Dakota. We were able to contain the damage, and we've managed to keep it a secret by replacing the state with a hologram projection, but eventually someone is going to go there and figure out that something is amiss.

Re:Insurance?
by eln (21727)

It's not really accurate either. My Slashdot UID has been passed on for generations, and will continue to be passed on. I'm actually only 3 years old. Some families pass on the family name, we pass on the family Slashdot UID.

Re:Bad copy?
FTA "An objective review of Google Lively after a few hours of playing around. It seems to be a bad copy of Second Life. Somehow all the rooms are crowded, and porn has made its way in there already"

by eln (21727)

Does that imply that a copy of Second Life could somehow be good?

It could be a good thing if it was an antimatter copy of Second Life, which was then brought into contact with the original Second Life.

Re:Well yeah
by eln (21727)

That's not true, I painted my Wii green so I could get in on this whole "green" trend. I found just the right paint, too. It's whale-oil based paint with some dolphin fin ground in for strength. I found this great paintbrush made with spotted owl feathers to apply the paint, and as a bonus I made a little cozy for my wiimote from giant panda fur.

I'm going to send some pictures of my new setup to Greenpeace, I hope they'll feature them on their website.

Derene may have some meat behind his newly-coined term: 'faceboogle.'

Re:"Faceboogle"?!?!?
by eln (21727)

How does one get to become "high geek", anyway?

Easy, you smoke dope until you think "faceboogle" is a neat word.

Re:Ugh
by eln (21727)

Personally, I think that too much web social interaction is a bad thing. People are forgetting how to interact face to face.

Whatever, dude. I met this chick on myspace a couple months back, and ever since then she's been sending me all these great jokes and virus warnings and cool stuff like that. Just the other day, I noticed she had put me as one of her top 8 friends. I'm pretty sure that means we're going steady. If everything keeps going like this, I might even link to her blog on my blog. After that, we're practically married anyway, so it's only a matter of time before she agrees to cyber with me.

Re:wtf is twitter
by eln (21727)

Let me guess, you think the Internet is totally useless because all it's used for is porn?

No, the Internet is THE GREATEST THING EVER because all it's used for is porn.