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Funny

Submitted by preater on March 12, 2010 - 6:55am.

[Context: EMI were sued by Pink Floyd for "unbundling" their albums and selling individual songs online.]

Re:Guess no music games then
by Chris Burke (6130)

There goes any hopes for Pink Floyd on Rock Band or Guitar Hero...

They can still make em, they're just going to be fucking brutal. One level is Dark Side of the Moon. The next is The Wall. Hope you can keep it up for 81 minutes, fucker!

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Submitted by flexplexico on March 10, 2010 - 3:08pm.

well, that was uplifting.
by Darth_brooks (180756)

That's got to be the most disheartening game release article I've ever read. "Our parent company think we're hemorrhaging money and we can't afford to put cool songs in the game because record labels are dumb, but uhhhh, yeah, we're gonna go ahead and do another game." I mean, what's the WoW2 release gonna look like?

"We at Blizzard are proud to announce that World of Warcraft 2 will be in stores on.....ahhh fuck it. Who are we kidding? We're just ripping money off of fat, friendless losers and people with OCD. Blah, blah, blah, enhanced 3d vectors and more elf chicks for creepy douchebags to write fanfic over. Have you read our support forums? Seriously? We're supposed to feel good about creating this shit for these people? Whoopee, we're bumping up the level caps so more 12 year olds can live in front of a monitor drinking mountain dew for hours on end instead of going outside. Huzzah!

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Submitted by flexplexico on March 10, 2010 - 5:24am.

Re:You get what you pay for?
by Anonymous Coward

A giant customized Starbucks in Cupertino California where lattes and no soy skim macchiatos are given out free to all employees. The background music involves a playlist of Nora Jones, David Matthews, John Mayer, and Bono on loop from an Ipod docked somewhere in the Apple/Starbucks facility. Hours are long but morale is surprising high as developers, hardware and software, are given 30 minute breaks to masturbate to the new itunes interface.

All developers sit at cafe type tables with a Mac Book Pro while their lord and master Steve Jobs stands deskless in his predictable attire of a turtleneck and jeans. In fact, this is the preferred (mandatory) dress code at Apple. Jobs walks around to each and every department, separated by latte and vegan preferences, and checks on the performance and efficiency of his developers. At any given point in the day one may see Mr Jobs yelling at a programmer for not implementing a button in the perfect shade of corn flower blue (#6495ED) and immediately sends him to the apple punitive chamber, consisting of a HP Compaq running Vista Basic.

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Submitted by veridicus on March 8, 2010 - 1:46pm.

Silverlight's greatest achievement
by Anonymous Coward

Getting mentioned next to Flash in all of these "End of..." articles.

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Submitted by plover on March 4, 2010 - 6:04pm.

Re:the correct solution
by IronChef (164482)

I had a similar problem a long time ago. One of the 3 partners running the joint was always poking around with file sharing, slowing the single expensive desktop publishing workstation down to a crawl. The perpetrator was the company's Fragile Genius and the other partners told us tough, there was no way they would ask him to modify his behavior.

Eventually, the Fragile Genius began locking himself in his office. There was one window that looked out into a common area, and he spray-painted it black. We believe it was about at this time he started smoking crack in his office.

He also had a kitten, which he rescued from the streets and then began to poison by feeding it nothing but raw hot dogs.

You think it's hard to stop the owner's son from doing anything wrong? Be glad it isn't the owner himself.

But honestly it was not the crack smoking that got the other partners to straighten this guy out. It was his cat peeing on their chairs.

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Submitted by gogirra on March 3, 2010 - 12:54pm.

Re:Great!
by TapeCutter (624760)

"Hu, that's pretty interesting but what's a nutron star again?"

Irresistible bait for spelling Nazi's.

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Submitted by Chryana on March 3, 2010 - 11:14am.

Re:$5 million bail
by Anonymous Coward

How many children would you have to rape to get bail set that high? How many people would you have to kill? How many computer offenses would you have to commit?

that would be about 2 illegal song uploads or 23 killings.

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Submitted by springbox on March 1, 2010 - 6:43pm.

Re:Yes, you are being a jackass
by tagno25 (1518033)

800+ watts in the 2.4ghz band is a known killer.
Most consumer devices run at under 5 watts.
Amateur radio operators have been using devices that can put out 5 to 1500 watts since the 1930s (possibly earlier)

Re:Yes, you are being a jackass
by ffreeloader (1105115)

Amateur radio operators have been using devices that can put out 5 to 1500 watts since the 1930s (possibly earlier)

Yeah, and look at what all that radiation has done to them. It's turned them into hams.

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Submitted by gollo on February 28, 2010 - 6:31pm.

Too late!
by macraig (621737)

I attended its funeral yesterday. It was an open-casket ceremony, and people just couldn't seem to resist fingering the deceased. Sadly it didn't respond.

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Submitted by flexplexico on February 25, 2010 - 1:08pm.

Re:Hunters..
by spun (1352)

Well, you see, with the iPad, there is:

No keyboard.
It's more expensive than an introductory laptop
Has lousy processing and RAM compared to same
Made of low quality parts.
The OS sucks on small screens

But:

It's from Apple, therefore, all those points are either irrelevant or actually features. You see, it is not the actual hardware or software quality that makes an Apple an Apple. It's the brand. No other brand produces nearly the same sense of smug satisfaction and gloating superiority. Besides owning a large truck that is never used for hauling or off road sporting, nothing says "I have a small penis" like owning something from Apple.

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Submitted by veridicus on February 22, 2010 - 10:03pm.

Several sources following the recent school webcam spying debacle are reporting that an even stranger twist has surfaced. The student in question that was disciplined for an "improper act" was apparently accused of either drug use or drug selling. Turns out he was eating Mike & Ike candy, not popping pills.

Re:Burned
by shadowrat (1069614)

dude! one time at a phish concert, i thought i had some bad Mike & Ike. The mellow sweetness turned to burning and pain and i ran around screaming. Nobody could figure out what was wrong, but it turns out someone slipped some Hot Tamales into my Mike & Ike.

from now on, i'm only getting my Mike & Ike when i'm in Amsterdam where they can control the stuff.

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Submitted by plover on February 22, 2010 - 2:52pm.

generation of random numbers
by Anonymous Coward

the generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

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Submitted by springbox on February 21, 2010 - 10:23pm.

Just close your eyes and chant
by harris s newman (714436)

Windows costs less, is more secure, and superior to opensource OS's. And hope your boss hears you before your fired.

Re:Just close your eyes and chant
by Tetsujin (103070)

Windows costs less, is more secure, and superior to opensource OS's.

And hope your boss hears you before your fired.

Before my fired what?

Re:Just close your eyes and chant
by ZarathustraDK (1291688)

Before my fired what?

Don't correct me, your fired.

Regards
you're Boss

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Submitted by flexplexico on February 21, 2010 - 9:52am.

Re:Computational Beauty of Nature
by Alsee (515537)

I made a typo. Now I'm going to hell.

Oh jeez. They're letting everybody in these days.

-

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Submitted by veridicus on February 19, 2010 - 1:33pm.

Why is this moderated Troll? Slashdot needs to get with it and adopt a moderation system like Reddit. I spend most my time there as the quality of Slashdot has gone way downhill. I guess this will be Troll as well.

Re:Fate?
by idontgno (624372)

You shouldn't complain about moderation until you understand it.

Your comment will be modded "offtopic".

So will this one.

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